August 9 – August 11, 2011

38 weeks 5 days.

So Erik wrote a great account of the birth day.  If you haven't read it yet, CLICK HERE.  He did a great job with all the details.  When Erik gave me a blessing the night before, he mentioned that I would be able to get through the trials of the day.  I figured it meant the trial of birth, not the trial of sitting around waiting to give birth!  It was a long day, and so different from each of the other two experiences, but I like that each boy gets his own special story.  It was really strange to be prepared for it and not be going to the hospital in the middle of the night.  My body is pretty speedy at this labor stuff (once I'm getting my pitocin) so again, they took me off it.  With the other two births, things stopped moving along, though, so they put me back on.  This time, I didn't need it once I went off.  So the last little bit was all me.  Also, this time around, they put Emmett on me right away, and Erik got to cut the cord.  Niether of those things has happened before, so that was really neat, too.  We had some really nice quiet time in the delivery room afterwards, just the three of us, before we all took Emmett to the nursery to get cleaned up, and then got myself dropped off in our new room. 

Snuggles, before and after a little clean up.

Getting a bit cleaned up, and weighed.  He was so so tiny to me.  I thought he was like 6 pounds.  I couldn't believe when he weighed in over 8!

I did it!  And look what I got for it!

In the nursery.

Sweet moment.  Love this new baby.  Love this man.

I really enjoyed the hospital stay.  In fact, I was really looking forward to that special time.  With Samuel, we booked it out of there pretty quick.  No reason for us to stick around.  With Owen, we took our time, recovered and relaxed a bit, then headed home after our 48 hours were up.  I wanted to do the same thing this time around.  Erik was so great complying with all my requests and sleeping on that horrible pull out chair for two nights.  My mom was spectacular to care for the two olders.  The boys visited me both days in the hospital.  I can't tell you how amazing the moment was when the door opened and Erik walked in holding a big bunch of balloons (that my mom and the boys had gotten the night before), and each boy came bouncing in with a present for the baby (also something my mom did with the boys) just grinning and staring at Emmett and me with big wide eyes and huge grins.  Each boy got a chance to hold the baby, and we visited for a bit before Emmett had to head to the nursery and Erik took Sam and O home for lunch and a nap.

O wasn't quite sure what to think at first, but once he saw Sam totally comfortable and at ease, he was ready for his turn.

Very interested in the diaper change.

Quiet time with Mom.

Erik went home and brought the boys and Mormor by to visit me in the hospital again the next morning.  Then we spent the afternoon checking out, and getting a nap in ourselves before leaving the hospital.  The evening was pretty low key at home.  And dare I say, normal.  Emmett is really such a good little baby.  And a sleepy baby!!!  He is sweet and snuggly and oh so kissable.  Both of the boys are smitten by him.  And so are we.  Happy little party of five! 

Several times I would need to pass off Emmett, asking Erik to either hold him or put him in the baby bin.  Erik always chose to hold him.

First photo of the FIVE of us.  Pretty sure I love how crazy and not perfect this picture is.  That's just who we are.  And I love it.

Getting dressed!

Just waiting for the nurse to discharge us.

Going home!!  Hope you're ready for this, Emmett M!

This is our last night as a family of four.  Big changes headed our way.  I hear people have three kids.  And even survive.  I'm still really scared.  Like really really.  I've been putting off blogging because I am so behind and I have like a bajillion things I want to document before Lambert comes . . . which is tomorrow.  So I guess now is the time to get crack a lackin.

Let's talk about this pregnancy.  It was so so different from my other two.  Besides it being the sickest one by far (oh, you remember all those early posts of barfing and wanting to die for 2 months, right??), I've also had the most pregnancy symptoms.  But I've talked about most of the already, too (the reflux, my sciatic, etc).  What's probably surprised me the most is how fast it went by.  Really, I can't believe it's already here.  I am going to have a baby tomorrow.  My mom commented just a little while ago that Erik and I sure are taking it pretty easy with this baby coming tomorrow.  I responded that it's because neither one of us really thinks it's going to happen.  Having two kids has kept me awfully distracted. We've also stayed super busy and had lots going on to keep time moving along quickly.  I dreaded being pregnant through the summer, but in all honesty, it hasn't been that bad.  The AC, the shaded backyard, the pool, and lots of fans at night have been my friend and kept it mostly bearable.  Oh, I've been uncomfortable.  And I've let everyone know it.  But it's pretty standard uncomfortable that comes with the territory, I think. 

A few more things I want to remember about this time around . . . this little Lamb sits up pretty dang high.  It's been almost impossible to get in any sort of comfortable position while sitting.  His little bum had been perched up high right under my left ribs, with his feet sticking out across me and his toes wedging under my right ribs.  His head is just barely below my belly button.  I feel him so far over on both sides, it's crazy.  He still does this crazy painful thing to my bladder that I can't even explain.  It's the worst the first time I wake up each night to pee.  I literally can't even stand up straight as I walk to the bathroom.  For the first out of at least 4 times.  My record is 7.  Between going to bed at 11 and the boys waking me up at 6:30, I woke up SEVEN times one night to pee.  And quiet little Lambert sure has perked up these last few weeks.  I don't know that he compares to his wild older brothers, but he's definintely livened up from when he first got his name from the Sheepish Lion.  I have also had major contractions, and just about anything will give them to me.  I cannot stand up from the sofa, the floor, the table, anything, without a contraction.  I definitely didn't feel that with the other two.  I feel like there's so much more, but I can't think of it right now.  So anywho . . .

I don't like change, but we've got a lot coming our way!!  It's such a bittersweet thing.  I am terrified.  Have I said that before?  I feel like Sam is prepared as he can be.  He's going to be amazing.  Owen, well, he has no idea what's in store.  And I'm anticipating a rocky couple of weeks with him.  But I'm really excited to meet this little babe who's been hanging out with me for the last 9 months.  I'm ready to get him in my arms and take on this next step.  Which is good.  Since it's coming tomorrow!

Samuel, 5 days old.

Owen, 1 week old. 

30 weeks.  Kind of a significant marker in the pregnancy.  Pretty much, it's gone fast.  Here's what's going on with me right now.  Braxton Hicks like cuh-raaaaaazy!  They come often and I get some pretty strong ones that make me pause.  Nothing painful yet, but certainly uncomfortable.  I have good and bad sciatic days.  One day I can barely walk, stand up, or sit down without wanting to cry, and others it barely even bothers me.  Any signs of reflux are just about gone.  I started on Prevacid several weeks ago and it's been a lifesaver!!  I've been feeling pretty much good and chipper recently.

But this last week I may have hit the downward slope.  I've been mega uncomfortable and so so moody.  I am tired and cranky.  I feel gigantic.  This big belly just seems to be getting more and more in the way, and it bugs me.  I cannot find a position to relax in ever.  My back is killing me.  Lambert sits up pretty high (as did the other two) so it's almost impossible for me to sit without feeling like I'm crushing something.  I swear this kid gets his hands on my bladder, squeezes and twists.  I have never in my life felt the kind of pressure he puts on it!  I still have nasty red splotches on my face that have been there since about 6 weeks.  They move around my lovely little face, and have found a greatly attractive spot under my nose and across the top of my mouth.  Seriously, I'm so ugly.  The weather has been pretty pleasant, but we've had a couple hot days that made me so extra fat and swollen.  And the two little boys I chase after all day wear me out in every way possible.   

Those two little boys have also helped this whole thing go by pretty dang fast, though.  It's crazy how different each pregnancy can be.  Not just the physical part, but having 2 kids while pregnant has been so completely different than having just one.  It's enough to keep me busy and not focusing on the pregnancy so much.  It often seems like I won't feel Lambert all day long until that evening when I'm sitting down on the sofa and taking the time to notice.  But he's definitely starting to take up lots of space and let me know he's there.  Still pretty quiet compared to the other two, and while both Owen and Sam totally loved my left side, Lambert is always on my right.  When I'm sitting, I can now watch my stomach bounce all over the place.  It's pretty fun.  And pretty amazing.  Third time around, and that part still doesn't get old; the miracle of a real live little person inside of me.  So weird. 

Sam continues to talk about and ask about Lambert.  Owen has even picked up on the whole thing a bit, too; as best he can, anyway.  He was sitting next to me one evening on the sofa drinking his milk, when he randomly just patted my tummy and said "Baby in 'ere."  It was the first time he'd ever made any sort of acknowledgement about it, and it came out of nowhere, all on his own.  I thought it was pretty sweet.  O also gets that his old room is now the baby's room.  Every time we go up for nap or bed, he points and tells me, "No Owen's room, dat's Baby room."  One time he did run in there, and ask me, "Where da baby?!" so I reminded him Baby was still in my tummy and he just giggled.

So, I'm also feeling pretty anxious about this THIRD baby deal.  It's just so very strange.  I know I panicked before Owen, too, and wondered what it would be like.  Then it just happens, and that's your new life, and you never look back.  But I'm still pretty much terrified.  Owen has a very different personality from Samuel, who is so independent and carefree, and has always preferred Daddy to me, anyway.  O, on the other hand, is much more needy and demanding.  He loves his Mommy, to say the least, and has a melt down if I dare step out of sight.  I see a lot of changes and adjusting ahead!!  I also know how much I struggle just to stay on top of the basics here at home, and by basic I'm not even including a clean kitchen and having the laundry done.  Plus the boys are on a rotten sleep schedule.  They are both up by 6:45 at the latest.  It kills me.  It makes for crazy long and tiring days.  I swear they need more sleep, but no one else seems to believe me.  If Sam is up that early, I want him in bed at 7.  But that never happens.  Owen at least still naps, so if he's sleeping from 12:30 or 1 until 4, I'm not going to put him to bed at 7 when Sam should be ready.  And I don't think Sam should get to stay up as late as Owen if he isn't napping.  It's just a big mess right now, and it's really taking a toll on me, so I can't even imagine what it's going to be like when we add in being up every 2 hours at night with the baby.  And I don't seem to make easy babies.  I have pretty high maintenance kids.  So that worries me, too. 

But all at the same time, I am very excited to meet this little Lamb and sometimes all I want is to look at his little face and hold him in my arms.  I am looking forward to seeing what he brings to our family.  So far, Samuel and Owen have each brought a very different light into our home.  I am confident Lambert will have his own special place here with all of us. 

Halfway there.  Kind of crazy.  I am still deciding if it went fast or not.  20 more weeks is still a while to go.  August is a long way away.  But right now I think that’s a good thing.  I’m still shaking in my boots thinking about three . . . three BOYS!  I’m also so unbelieveably excited to add another blonde hair blue eyed hooligan to the mix.  It’s going to be so fun.

So the first 20 weeks have been rough.  I haven’t hid that.  Although I’m not throwing up every day (my record is 9 days without!!  But usually its more like every 3 days or so, and that doesn’t count my regular morning vomit every time I brush my teeth) I’m still pretty nauseous on a regular basis.  Food is still mostly gross to me, and smells of any sort knock me over.  I haven’t gained any weight yet, in fact right now I’m less than when I first got pregnant.  I have no doubt that’s going to change fast.  My sciatic is already starting to bug me.  Forget indigestion, I went right to reflux.  Ugh.  And I’m already having braxton hicks contractions.  Isn’t there supposed to be a middle part where I get to enjoy this a bit?  But that sounds a lot more negative than I really feel.  I’m just getting old and fat, and my body sure ain’t what it used to be.  I’m finally feeling what I know is the baby, and I love it.  That seemed to take forever.  I still don’t feel him a lot, and part of that as we discovered in the ultrasound is because my placenta is on top of/in front of the baby.  I’m sure he’ll get moving soon, though. 

Samuel is excited about the baby.  He likes to talk about it and ask questions.  I love that!  It’s so fun to see him so aware and really internalize it.  Sam reminds me almost daily that I’m getting fatter.  Every time I eat he asks if I’m feeding the baby, too.  He also told us tonight at dinner that the baby can see my heart and into my lungs and he sees all the food I swallow.  Before the ultrasound, Samuel was confident he was getting another brother.  I asked what would happen if he got a sister.  He said, “It’s a brother, I know it!”  When I came home from the ultrasound, Samuel was giddy to see the pictures.  He laughed and giggled the whole time I pointed things out to him.  Then we named the baby Lambert. 

So, as far as the ultrasound went, everything looked perfect.  I was so so so anxious about it.  I don’t remember anticipating the ultrasounds nearly as much with either of the other boys.  (Of course I was still excited with them, I just don’t remember it being as intense.)  Baby was being pretty shy and had his legs crossed most of the time.  Thankfully, while she took measurements and such, the technician kept checking back to see if he had exposed himself yet.  After I was really starting to wonder if we would get a peak, we finally got it.  Oh!  We’ve seen that before!!  Lambert also kept his face hidden most of the time.  We would see bits, but never the whole thing.  We poked and prodded and jiggled, but he kept his face nuzzled up to my placenta or tucked into my pelvis.  But he seemed pretty ok in there with his ankles crossed and both arms up, hands tucked behind his head.  Lambert must be getting nice and comfortable for the next 20 weeks.

I was so happy to finally COMPLETE something.  This has been in the works for a while.  I totally go in stints.  I cut, pieced, and did all the sashing.  Then it sat around forever without the border.  By then I had missed the baby shower deadline.  When I finally got to the border, I messed it up and got frustrated.  Imagine!  So I missed the birth/Christmas gift deadline.  Next stop, baby blessing deadline!  I busted out the border, which took a whole 10 minutes.  I’m such a loser for putting it off for so long.  Then I talked my good friend Elizabeth into quilting it for me.  She is uber talented.  She helped me decide on what to do for the back since the lady at the quilt store was nice enough to explain to me that I really didn’t want to buy a whole other length of fabric for just 6 inches, especially if I had scraps.  (I think now I might even like the back more than the front.  It’s so cute.)  I was so so happy with the quilting that Elizabeth did.  I think it worked out so perfectly to go with the fun and whimsy of the quilt.  So after busting out some serious hand stitching, I finished the binding in one day and FINALLY got to pass the quilt off to a much deserving friend and her darling little addition. 

The feeling of a successful completion motivated me to finish another quilt I’ve had sitting around forever.  All I had to do was stitch up 3 more sides of binding.  Ridiculous that it sat around for so long like that.  This one I’m keeping for myself.  I did ALL of it, 100%.  First quilt to ever do the cutting, stitching, quilting, machine and hand binding all by myself.  I’m kind of proud of it.  I’m going to make Erik hang it this weekend.

So for Christmas this year, I thought I’d try my hand at that thing called craftiness.  One of the projects I have known for a while I wanted to do was make a superhero cape for Samuel’s best little buddy, Mr. J.  And once I planned that out, I didn’t think it was fair for Miss E, J’s little sis and Owen’s girlfriend, to not have one, too.  A couple years ago I sewed a cape for Samuel.  He plays with it often.  Since then, I’ve worked on a few quilting projects, but no other sewing.  I am by no means even good at this, and there are so so many mistakes.  But I was still pretty pleased with how they turned out.  We finally delivered them today.  And by we, I mean I drove in the car and made Sam walk through the snow storm with strict instructions to tell our friends, “Merry Christmas, and thanks for being such SUPER friends!”   Anyway, this post is mostly for mi Madre so she can see the prodigy I am becoming.

I have a couple more little crafty things I put together this year, but I’ll post those later so as not to spoil any surprises.

No pictures of my cute kids.  No funny stories to share.  This post is all me.  The Big A-Lise putting it all out there.  I just feel like it needs to be done.  So bear with me.  Or don’t.  That’s ok, too.

It’s been a rough week.  Rough month.  Rough year?  I’m a big baby.  I struggle and I’m still trying to learn how to deal.  I’ve been seeing my doctor for the past few years dealing with anxiety and depression, and I still feel like I’ve got a lot to learn.  Blah blah blah.  

So after a particularly difficult week, I asked Erik to put Owen to bed for me tonight.  As they were going upstairs, I got a really upsetting phone call.  It was the detonator.  As I sat on the sofa nursing Sam’s little bee sting, I willed myself to keep it together until Erik came back down and offered a silent prayer for peace and comfort.  When Erik came back, I stepped out of the room and lost it.  I got a hold of myself, but still couldn’t control the shaking, the quick breathing, or the urge to vomit.  Erik took Sam into his room for a little computer time, so I could continue getting back to a good place.  When Sam was halfway up the stairs for bed and said “Wait, I need to give Mom a hug and kiss” I started feeling better.  But I continued to ask my Father in Heaven for the peace and comfort in my mind and heart that I needed so badly.  Erik came back down again, put his arm around me, and didn’t even murmur when I put on Project Runway for us to watch.  Then Owen started talking.  He’d been silent for 30 minutes.  Very unusual for him, especially after only one 45 minute nap in the car today.  We listened to him talk for several minutes before I figured I’d better check for poops or barfies.  I went in to little Owen’s room.  He was sitting in his bed jabbering to his blankets.  He didn’t see me come in, so I leaned over his bed, he reached up and touch my face, and said “Hi Ma!”  I scooped up my Bubs.  He put his sweet arms around my neck, his head on my shoulder, and didn’t budge while we rocked in his chair.  About 15 minutes later O was still on my shoulder with his arms around me.  Snoring.  And I felt peace and comfort.

I love my husband who I swear still doesn’t have a clue, but loves me regardless.  I love my sweet baby boys who so quickly forget how imperfect I am.  And I love my Heavenly Father who knows me and hears me. 

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”  John 14:27

See those eyes?  He got them from his Momma.

Today I got up at 6:30.

Today I went upstairs to brush my teeth.  When I came back down 3 minutes later, Sam was completely naked and hitting Owen on the head with a balloon.  Owen was laughing hysterically.

Today Samuel also pushed Owen over, stole his toys, poked him in the eyes, and gagged him with a spatula.

Today on our drive through the canyon we pulled over and got out of the car to watch a flock of about 50 turkeys.  In Samuel’s mind, this translated to chasing turkeys in Candyland.

Today when I brought Sam a monster truck, per request, he said, “Not this monster truck, the SMALLER monster truck!”

Today Samuel told me while he was playing zoo, “My antelope needs a tree.  Build it Mommy, my antelope needs stand on his hind legs and eat the leaves.”

Today Owen did the Hot Dog dance.

Today Owen ate 17 ounces in less than 7 hours.  I think Sam might have eaten that much one week.

Today I cleaned my kitchen to a spotless shine.  I had to run the dishwasher 3 times.  I was washing pans and couldn’t even remember back to what I had cooked in them.

Today Samuel and I had a “picnic” on the floor of his room and went to the “park” while Owen napped.  Really, we ate crackers on his blanket and hid in his closets.

Today I am 182% fully completely totally utterly exhausted.

Today I have a good day.

I promised Erik I would blog this.  He said if I can broadcast his incidents with the law, then I had better tell everyone about the stuff I do, too.  So here it is . . . .

Last week when I was using the oven, I thought I smelled something burning.  Nothing new, our oven always stinks.  A couple days later, when I used the oven again, I thought I might smell plastic burning.  Weird.  Just to be sure, I took a look.  This is what I saw.

Nothing.  This happened at least two more times.  A couple dinners and a pan of brownies later, I turned on the oven to bake some rolls.  I didn’t just think I smelled plastic burning, I definitely did.  Better check again, just to be sure.  This is what I saw.

Nothing.  What?  It definitely definitely smells like burning plastic.  I’d better take a more thorough look.  And this is what I saw.

Hmmm.  Yep, that would most likely be what I had been smelling.

At the time, we absolutely could not figure out how this had happened.  Sam never ever gets to play even near the oven.  Sometimes he gets close just long enough to push the little button that turns on the light, but I’m hollering at him by then.  He knows the oven rules, and always stays back.  Now that I’ve had more time to think about it, and recall past events, I know how it happened . . .

It was my turn to host Joyschool the other week.  After a night of waking up 8 times with O, I was frantic that morning to get the house in order before everyone showed up.  In lieu of cleaning the entire kitchen, I did, in fact, fill the oven full of dirty dishes.  I very deliberately removed the dishes as soon as every left so I wouldn’t do anything stupid like turn the oven on when they were still in there.  I must have missed a spoon.  Oops.